Sunday, August 19, 2012

One of those emo posts. You know... the ones where you realize you've been duped?

EDIT (September 10, 2012)
The previous drama posted below is no longer an issue. Not because I cut the person out of my life... but because I have forgiven them. I realize that this person has lead a life much different than mine, and much different than most people, really. The way they were raised, the experiences they went through... all culminated to make them a person that isn't always quite aware of their overly-advantageous and indiscriminate behavior. It is extremely hard for this person to look past their misfortunes at their fortunes, and even more harder for them to truly appreciate the kindness done to them and on their behalf, because by acknowledging the kindness, they must also acknowledge their own shortcomings as a person, and must admit that they were unable to provide for themselves what somebody else is providing for them. I'm not saying this behavior is entirely right... but I understand it. And I also understand that no two meetings are a coincidence. There is a reason why I'm in this person's life and vice-versa. There is something to be learned, and something to be grown, from either side. At the risk of sounding cliche, I do believe that God is using me... and for now, I'm okay with that.

I have a confession.

When my heartstrings are pulled by the blight of another person's misfortunes, I can't help myself... I have to help them. Especially if that person is a friend. I become blind to their needs and do not realize I am being taken advantage of, until it's too late...

I gave this person a new bag, gave them a couple of my shirts that were too small for me, even bought them new shoes just a few days ago. I have bought them several meals, and driven them around for miles, and miles. I've helped them with numerous projects, and been there through their emotional times...

Only to have them spew bad words about me behind my back.


But I should have known... this same person lives rent free in her boyfriend's mom's house. This woman not only gave the girl a place to live, but also gives her extra spending money, bus money, and phone money, amongst other things. She has no legal or blood ties to the girl, but takes care of her. And the only thing the girl can do is complain about having to take care of the woman's house, and having to abide by the woman's house rules.

Now, if this person can say all of that about the woman that feeds, houses, and essentially clothes her (through the extra money that is given to her)... then what is stopping this person from having ill feelings towards me?

It really, really hurts.

I absolutely HATE drama in my own life, and cannot believe the turns this relationship has taken. I need to remember who my REAL friends are and turn to them.

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